It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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