You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
