I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
