Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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