i think my tv is drunk
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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