My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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