yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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