I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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