It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize