i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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