Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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