Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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