You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
