I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
