She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
