I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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