i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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