I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I am spending my child support on dildos
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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