I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
