Ketchup is God's man juice
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
