Its about making memories worth repressing
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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