after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
