honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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