Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
