Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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