Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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