butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
