Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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