Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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