My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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