We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
