Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Sorry about my life...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
