Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
