I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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