I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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