She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize