I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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