she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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