I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
