I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
