GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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