My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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