I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
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