whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize