Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
