You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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