I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
