he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
