I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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