My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
