do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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