Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
