It's like God shit irony all over that family
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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