I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
