One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
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