I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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