why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize