u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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