trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
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