is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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