between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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