You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
