GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
