No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
