the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
