we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize