Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
