If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
